You found the truth... what's next?
It's been about 5 weeks since I reverted to Islam in the eyes of Allah. And since then, I have been trying to adapt to my new lifestyle:-
Well this was a big change. There is only one halal, Malay food shop near my workplace, and the food is practically soaked in oil. So my colleagues were nicely accommodating me by going to the nearest Banquet (Singapore's only all-halal food court, my personal haven!).
Food at home was an issue during the first few weeks. I only recently told my parents I am Muslim, but before that, I was trying to escape meals at home. So much so that my parents thought I was avoiding them by staying out late... Now is slightly better because they ask me whether I can eat this or that, and pork is practically non-existent from our fridge.
It was actually very comfortable slipping into 5 prayers a day. I like praying. Especially in the mosque, where it's congregational. So much so I'd rather pray in a mosque than pray alone at home... it's definitely a far cry from the times when I was dragging myself to church every Sunday.
Finding a place was hard though, especially when I am roaming around Singapore. Now my Google Maps is full of stars marking out the mosques and musollahs all around the country. One thing for sure though, I will never go to a carpark 'musollah', or more like a tiny, spooky makeshift area at one secluded corner of a carpark. The only one time I found it, I did not dare to go in because it was really kinda spooky, and a guy was blocking the entrance. So I walked a good 20minutes trying to find the nearest mosque.
And then comes the missing of prayers. I've been bombarded with things like "What happens if you miss a prayer? Never mind one lah! Also nothing will happen to you!" (Driving instructor) and "But you're late already (for other things), you should be prioritizing!" (Mum) and "I want to sleeeeeepp..." (me, at 5.30am on a weekend). I also realise this is one of the reasons why people think Islam is so strict and different from Christianity (ie. Allah punishes you if you don't pray 5 times a day! compared to Christian's all-loving and forgiving God... see the difference?). And then as I read and learn more and more and begin to enjoy spending these precious few minutes with God, it starts being less of a duty and more of a time I look forward to.
But I still do miss prayers sometimes. I'm working on it, okay?
Okay, this is probably the hardest to adapt to. Out goes all my short skirts, short dresses, sleeveless/short sleeved tops. And I have a lot.. Other than that, I have no clue on style. And in Singapore, long sleeved, long skirted stuff are TOO HARD TO FIND. The only good thing now is that I spend much less on shopping, because I practically can eliminate clothes by a glance.
Yet all these are just small, basic things, which just need a little bit of time to get used to. But from small things I can grow to work on my personal willpower for bigger things, which I know can be weak. Awareness is a start. And with Allah's help, inşallah I will get closer one day at a time.
اَللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِيْ وَارْحَمْنِيْ وَعَافِنِيْ وَاهْدِنِيْ وَارْزُقْنِيْ وَاجْبُرْنِيْ وَارْفَعْنِي
O Allah Forgive me. Have mercy on me, grant me well being , guide me, grant me subsistence, repair my losses, and grant me a high position. (al-Hisn 107)