To the Convert's Parents, InsyaAllah

I love you.
But it's always the people that you love most that hurt the most.
I keep my silence, my words to myself.
But why do you mistake my sincerity for arrogance?
Never once have I tried to make you see the way I see things,
Never once did I force you to read the things I read.

I close my door when I pray, I have learnt to take off the scarf at lightning speed.
Because I don't want to make you uncomfortable.
I refrain from telling things unless you ask,
Because I have never believed in preaching, and never will.

Oh how I wish you'd ask,
How it's like, why we do things a certain way,
Why I am following something everyone thinks is bad.
But you never do, and I never speak.

My thoughts and words are my own here,
I speak without thinking of an audience.
Yet you say I am proud, I want to impose my beliefs on others.
Don't you know me?

I won't stop writing,
It is the only thing that keeps me going.
The only solace for my deepest thoughts,
The fuel that keeps this hope a tiny bit more alive.

The thing I want most in the world, no one can give.
It's going to be a long journey, the end looks bleak.
I feel helpless yet I can't do anything.
Still I hope, for that small chance.

Could this be what they mean by total submission?
I guess so. InsyaAllah- God Willing,
May Your Will be done.

"Indeed, [O Muhammad], you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided." [27:92]