Yesterday marked the last session of BCI 1 (Beginner's Course on Islam) at Darul Arqam. It was less comprehensive than I had hoped, but after all, it was just an introductory session for people of all religions to know about Islam. What was the best thing that I'd gotten from the past 10 weeks was the meeting of a group of sisters with so many different stories but with all the same purpose to find and deepen their faith. We talked, laughed, shared life stories... Something no book or article could ever provide, because this was real stories of real people I could see and listen to, with similar struggles no matter our background.
I remember before I signed up for this course, I was desperately trying to find someone who could understand. I remembered messaging my university classmate F, because she was the only Muslimah (Muslim female) I knew. Having not talked to her much in all my years in university, I guess she got quite a bit of a shock when I asked her to tell me about her experience as a Muslim. But I never did regret it, because it was finally the step out of my solitude. Being alone really isn't healthy, at all.
And it was definitely a step to make me finally realize that if I believed in something, I should just go for it. And I have never felt so comfortable since. People have told me not to rush things like this, give it a year or two or five. They are right. I am giving myself a lifetime. As my solat teacher said and I totally agree with, my knowledge in faith should be a lifelong process. You only just need to know where to search. My decision to revert to Islam is the acknowledgment of the start of this journey of lifelong searching.
I know many things in life can be regretted. But this is one thing I know I will never ever regret. And as I celebrate my 24th year of life tomorrow, I sincerely thank all those who had, and will be part of this journey of mine.